Stephanie Livingston–Psychologist

Should a man ever hit a woman?
I was listening to the radio on my way home from work and heard a controversial conversation on a relationship program. The topic of discussion was about violence between men and women and whether or not a man should ever hit a woman. This discussion came on the heels of the suspension of ESPN columnist Stephen Smith for allegedly making politically incorrect statements about the incident involving Ray Rice being caught on video physically abusing his then fiancé and now wife. Although Smith never condoned Rice’s actions, the fact that he brought up the issue of “provocation” in preventing violence, created a firestorm of criticism. It is a sad day when we can’t look at situations objectively. Just the act of questioning what precipitates a violent event, to some suggests condoning the misdeed. People are capable of just about anything under the right conditions. We know that there are often precipitating factors that can trigger violent actions including, environmental conditions such as crowding and heat; acting in self-defense; and mutual consent. It’s not surprising that crime rates increase in summer and overcrowded hot tenement housing is the breeding ground for aggression. And it is not all that uncommon for both men and women to engage in violent acts with each other. And there are times that people act against their values to inflict unnecessary violence when an authority tells them to do so.
Studies on violent behavior have demonstrated each of these conditions. When people read a list of aggressive words that tend to act in an aggressive manner. Children who watch violent video games tend to act more aggressively. And workers may displace their anger toward a demeaning boss by coming home and kicking the dog. Each of these situations can lead to violence.
The Milgram studies demonstrated how obedience is influenced by authority by shifting blame. In this study, subjects pretending to be prison guards were instructed to give increasing amounts of shock to pretend prisoners, for giving incorrect answers to questions. Prison guards administered large amounts of shock when told to do so, despite hearing the cries of the person receiving shock. This study was conducted by Stanley Milgram to investigate the atrocities of Nazism.
The point here is that asking the question of provocation before a violent act is important. It does not suggest that the violent act is right or deserved nor blaming the victim, but merely asking the question as to the circumstances preceding the act. After all the goal is violence prevention. If, as a society, we hold fast to the idea that a man should never hit a woman under any circumstances, we are being remiss in doing all we can to stop relationship violence. Even the gentlest man has his limits. Although most domestic violence disputes are those where men have been the perpetrator, women can also be abusive. Spitting, pushing, scratching, kicking, and punching are just a few of the methods women have used to inflict violence on their mates. Some men don’t retaliate as we saw in the video of Jay Z and Beyonce’s sister in the elevator. She was clearly the attacker without a physical response from him. We don’t know what instigated her attack, but he appeared to be merely defending himself. Did he have the right to hit her back, or should he refrain no matter what?
I have treated many couples who are in domestic violence situations where both men and women are the instigators. In one case, Ann grew up in a violent home, where her parents argued and physically fought each other regularly. She learned to equate violence with love. Her husband, Henry grew up in a quiet, orderly Southern, home, where his father was the king of the castle and his mother was submissive. Henry coped with conflict by shutting down and isolating himself, because he did not know how to deal with Ann’s rage. Ann’s reaction to Henry’s distancing, was to chase after him with name calling ad even hitting. They came to therapy after Henry warned Ann twice that if she ever hit him again, he would divorce her because he did not want to retaliate, go to jail, and possibly lose he job and reputation. After a few sessions of effective communication exercises and anger management, they both agreed to call a time out if things got heated. Henry was able to keep his end of the bargain, but Ann was not. Their last argument resulted in Ann chasing after Henry when he took a time out to de-escalate the situation, and hitting him in the back with her fist. He moved out the next day and filed for divorce.
Ann continued treatment during and after the divorce and came to realize the error of her ways. She had not learned to deal with her frustrations in a healthy way and paid a high price. She loved Henry and harbored many regrets about how things turned out. She knew that if she ever wanted to marry again and have a healthier relationship she needed to get her anger under control. One year after the divorce, she reconnected with an old friend, who she eventually dated. Charles was her prince charming, but she was concerned that her anger issues would re-emerge because he was even more conservative than Henry. He was Muslim and held very strict views about what men and women should and should not do. She re-entered therapy to make sure she didn’t mess things up again. After two years of dating Charles proposed and Ann accepted. Although they have had their moments of Ann asserting herself too strongly, so far she has not crossed the line of putting her hands on him—but on occasion feels tempted.
The issue of provocation is a real one, when it comes to violence. Ann appeared to be a gentle, quiet person, until her buttons were pushed. Old childhood wounds can be the catalyst for behavior unbecoming of “nice girls.” Just like Milgram’s studies, if the conditions are right we do things we might not ordinarily do. A responsible person will try to make themselves aware of those triggers that can incite drama and try to avoid them. If things get too heated, walk away. People don’t usually “ask for it.” That statement is merely a justification for poor decision making. The victim of abuse does not make the abuser hurt them. The spouse doesn’t drive the alcoholic to drink. And the cheater isn’t forced to have an affair because of an inattentive spouse. Yes, name calling, nagging, or frigidity might be the triggers for each of these actions, but you still have a choice.
If you find that you are repeatedly in violent relationships, it’s time to look in the mirror. Do you confuse violence with love? Do you incite violent behavior? If you answered yes to any of these questions it’s time to get help. Stop the violence!

TIPS:
*If your anger level is a 7 or above on a scale of 1-10 (1=low anger, 10=high anger) walk away because you are probably not communicating anyway.
*Try listening to your partner rather than thinking only about what you want to say and talking over him/her.
*Bite your tongue when it comes saying hurtful things. Once it is out of your mouth you can’t take it back.
*Show compassion. Try to put yourself in the other person’s place.
*Learn to forgive.
*If your anger is far beyond what the situation calls for, you are probably angry with someone from your past and bringing it into the present.
*When angry take a few deep breaths and imagine yourself in a quiet relaxing place. Keep your blood pressure under control. Exuding calm can be contagious.

Glass Half Empty or Half Full?
Do you see the glass as half empty or half full? Joan is a pessimist she sees the glass as half empty. If she is not dwelling on the past, she lives her life like “chicken little”—always feeling like the sky is falling, the sky is falling.” When she got a “did not meet expectations” on her performance review at work, she was sure that this meant that she was going to get fired, that her career was over, that she will probably perform poorly in other aspects of her life, and that it must be because she was stupid and undeserving. This is an example of the mindset of a pessimist. Once this type of thinking is set into motion, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy and only reinforces what the pessimist thinks to begin with—that they are no good.
Learning to be pessimistic can start in childhood and become more engrained over time. Studies show that people who are pessimistic as children are much more likely to become depressed later in life. Pessimism is not just seeing life in a negative way, but also has to do with how you explain events in your life. If you attribute the good things in your life to luck or chance but the things you perceive as bad, to your own personal qualities (e.g., stupidity, unworthiness), you are likely a pessimist. Pessimism, like depression usually results from some type of loss such as divorce, death of a loved one, illness. When these events happen during childhood, the child may learn to become distraught, but not necessarily hopeless. He/she then carries this mindset throughout life. Although, a pessimist learned to see the glass as half full, it does not have to persist.
According to Martin Seligman, the expert on learned helplessness (i.e., a perception that you have no control over the things that happen to you) as it relates to depression, says that pessimism can also be a precursor to depression. Your attributional style (i.e. how you explain why good and bad things happen in your life) can determine whether you learn to become an optimist or a pessimistic. The three P’s, permanent, pervasive, and personal causes of bad events can determine in which category you might fall. This behavior has been shown empirically to be learned, usually from messages that the mother, transmits to her children, more so than the father and is not genetic. If you see the event as permanent, you probably cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel and fail to see the situation as temporary. If you see the event as pervasive, you may think that this one bad thing generalizes to all other aspects of your life. And finally, if the event is personal, you believe that there is something inherently wrong with you.
To illustrate Seligman’s approach as outlined in his book Learned Optimism, in contrast to Joan’s outlook, Susan also got a “did not meet expectations” performance review at the same company. However Susan’s outlook on life is very different from her friends’. Susan’s response to her review was that this is just one review and that she will work to do better in the next six months–Permanence. She decided to write a rebuttal to be put in her file for the things she disagreed with and set goals to accomplish the rest. She then wrote in her journal about the other accomplishments in her life, to remind herself of her other good qualities so that she did not let her disappointment about this review, spread to other aspects of her life–Pervasiveness. And finally, she did not beat herself up by making self-denigrating statements. Instead she said, “I am a capable person and am good at what I do, I just need to make some adjustments–Personal.
You can see how the thinking of a pessimist can go downhill pretty quickly. Since explanatory style, optimism or pessimism, can begin in childhood, by the time you become an adult, you have had years of looking at the world in a certain way. Though not always easy, learning to become an optimistic is within your reach and usually in your best interest. Although there are some advantages to pessimism, such as being more reality based and tempering idealism, in general you need a lot of optimism with a dash of pessimism. More often than not optimism has more benefits than pessimism. Studies have shown the following:
*Pessimism promotes depression
*Pessimism produces inertia rather than activity in the face of setbacks
*Pessimism is self-fulfilling. Pessimists don’t persist in the face of challenges, and therefore fail more frequently—even when success is attainable.
*Pessimism is associated with poor physical health.
*Pessimists are defeated when they try for high office
*Even when pessimists are right and things turn out badly, they still feel worse. Their explanatory style now converts the predicted setback into a disaster, a disaster into a catastrophe.
Taken from Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life (Seligman, Martin, 2006)
Now that you know why becoming an optimistic is a good thing, you may ask the question, how does one go about changing such an ingrained thinking and behavior pattern? Fortunately, there are self-help books, like the one mentioned above as well as others that are based on Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that focuses on changing distorted or irrational thinking patterns. You might also seek treatment with a psychotherapist for the same. In the meantime, you can start today by asking yourself how you explain bad events in your life. Catch yourself, before you go down that pessimistic path and try to redirect yourself. Ask yourself the following questions, “Is this going to last forever–Permanence, Does it affect all other areas of my life–Pervasiveness, and Did it happen because I am inadequate or unworthy–Personal?” The answer is probably no in each case. But if you answered yes, you have some work to do. Find the silver lining in the bad event, learn from the situation, and move on. You will have many other opportunities to learn from your mistakes.

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE
ARE YOU WORKING YOURSELF TO DEATH?

Hypertension is a chronic medical condition that is characterized by an elevation in arterial blood pressure. Blood pressure is measured by systolic (top number) when the heart muscle is contracting or diastolic (bottom number) when the heart muscle is relaxed between heart beats. A reading of 120/80 is typically thought of as normal blood pressure, but can range between 100-140mmHg systolic, over 60-90mmHg diastolic. If a person’s reading is consistently at or greater than 140/90 hypertension exists. Most people have primary or also known as essential hypertension, with no underlying medical cause. Less than 10% of the population have secondary hypertension, which is caused by some other medical condition. Essential hypertension, can be the result of many factors such as age, weight, eating and exercise habits, genetic predisposition, and stress. Stress can influence blood pressure because the chemicals that are released during the stress/fight or flight response results in a constriction of the blood vessels, which raises blood pressure. Over time, the daily hassles of life can add up and cause prolonged elevations in blood pressure, which can result in hypertension and many other associated medical problems, such as stroke and kidney failure.
My dissertation research at The University of Chicago Hospitals revealed some interesting things with respect to hypertension and psychosocial factors in black women. Specifically I looked at a concept proposed by Sherman James called, John Henryism, an active coping mechanism used to deal with exposure to prolonged stressors, such as social discrimination. As the legend goes, John Henry was a slave, who could reportedly out- perform the mechanical steam drill, but at the expense of dying from over exertion. James, an epidemiologist, during his data collection for his research, interviewed a man named John Henry Martin, who had characteristics similar to the legendary John Henry. John Henry Martin was a black man who freed himself from the sharecropper system to successfully farm 75 acres of his own land through hard work and determination by age 40, but at the cost of serious health problems by age 50, including hypertension, arthritis, and peptic ulcer. James developed the John Henryism Scale to measure the degree to which a person relies on hard work and determination to achieve their goals. My research findings using female subjects were consistent with James’ research with males, which revealed that those women who scored high on John Henryism tended to have higher blood pressures than those who scored lower.
I have learned over the years as a psychologist that sometimes trying too hard can be detrimental in the long run. For instance, relaxation techniques, which are meant to calm the body and mind and counteract the effects of stress, require a person to give up control. Trying too hard to relax, like trying too hard to go to sleep just doesn’t work. It is not until the person gives up control that sleep comes. Pushing too hard can elicit a stress response which counteracts the relaxation response. There are times when taking control in an active way is beneficial, like when trying to complete a task or playing a sport. It is important to know the difference when you need to take control or give up control.
Many studies have shown the benefits of relaxation techniques (e.g., biofeedback, meditation, diaphragmatic breathing, imagery) in reducing blood pressure. I have used a self-regulation strategy called heart rate variability (HRV), which involves using computer software that is able to measure a person’s heart rate (HR) and HRV—what happens between heart beats. This activity occurring between heartbeats can be affected by negative emotions such as anxiety, stress, anger, and frustration. A clip is attached to the individual’s ear lobe, where the HR and HRV are transmitted through a wire into the computer and the software transforms this information into a graphic that gives feedback as to the level of these physical activities. The trainee uses breathing and imagery techniques to learn to control their HR and HRV. Oftentimes imagery techniques involve thinking of something relaxing and your body responds by becoming more relaxed. In the case of HRV training, the trainee is taught to think of images of love and appreciation, because studies show that it tends to have a more positive effect. My patients who have used these techniques have been very encouraged in learning to control their blood pressure.
At our clinic, BioSynergy, this process involves taking the blood pressure first to get a baseline. Next, the trainee goes through a round of HRV, and then takes their blood pressure again. A training session of HRV involves playing games on the computer where the trainee is able to achieve a goal, like having images on the screen do certain things like having a rainbow go into a pot and fill up with coins or keeping a balloon afloat, as a result of making the HRV go up or down. The goal is to obtain coherence, meaning a smooth HRV pattern. High coherence guarantees success in playing the games. As mentioned previously negative emotions can have an adverse impact on coherence, making the HRV patterns more erratic. Low coherence can result in a stress response being elicited and all the things that go along with this response, such as release of stress hormones, which can in turn increase HR, HRV and a host of other physiological responses.
Most people are not aware that the heart has a brain of its own that sends signals to the rest of the body, just like the brain in your head sends messages down to the body. Therefore, by controlling the heart, one can learn to control other systems in the body voluntarily. You can try this for yourself at home, by taking your pulse or blood pressure, try thinking of something relaxing or a situation where you felt loved or appreciated for ten minutes, and take your measurements again and see if there is a difference. Keep in mind that you are doing this without the benefit of technology. Imagine what you could do, if you had a little help. The mind is a powerful tool, the body is a highly efficient machine, and computers are intelligent devices. Learning to control the interaction of these three entities, create a dynamic force that can take your mind and body to new levels.
These techniques are not meant to be used in replacement of medication or other medical advice. Consult your doctor before considering using these strategies to manage your blood pressure. DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR MEDICATION WITHOUT YOUR DOCTORS CONSENT. Contact us today for an appointment. We have offices in Illinois and Indiana and take most insurances.

Stereotype Threat—does being a minority affect your performance

Have you ever been the only girl in a math class of all boys and felt intimidated; or a black student in a predominately white college or university, or a white male competing in a basketball camp of mostly black males? If you have felt intimidated in any of these situations, you may have been a victim of “stereotype threat”, A concept developed by Claude Steele, a social psychologist at Stanford University. He found that stereotype threat, feeling pressure to perform in a given situation because you feel that you have been type cast, negatively affects performance. The girl in a math class of mostly boys may have learned to believe over the years that boys are better than girls in math. Or the black student may have internalized the belief that whites are smarter or are at least preoccupied with the idea that white students may view them in that way. And the white basketball player, like the movie title “White Men Can’t Jump” may feel intimidated by black basketball players who tend to dominate in this sport. In Steele’s ongoing research, he found that the individual who may be a victim of stereotype threat may not even be consciously aware that they are experiencing it. The problem with stereotyping in this case, is that it tends to have a negative effect on performance. The part of the brain needed to perform the task at hand, whether it is doing well on a math test or shooting a basketball gets drained by the focus on the effects of the stereotype; thereby hindering performance. You can imagine how stereotype threat can be manifested in everyday life in most areas such as business, education, sports and entertainment, and health.
What is the solution to stereotype threat, you might ask. Something as simple as writing a narrative about one’s values and why one hold’s these values prior to going into the stereotype situation, like taking a test, can improve performance significantly. Or, reminding yourself of your accomplishments or credentials prior to your performance, can also be helpful. Steele found that black students who had to check the race box prior to taking a test was enough to trigger stereotype threat. However, when students were allowed to do the narrative exercise before the test, they were able to counteract the effects of stereotype threat.
At our clinic, we help people counteract the effects of stereotype threat by: evaluating the individual to determine if they are experiencing stereotype threat and the type of stereotype threat. Different types of threat require different approaches. We will also rule out any mental disorders that may play a role (e.g., stress, anxiety disorders, depression) in underperformance. Subjective and objective measures, (eg, clinical interview, testing, stereotype threat scales, physiological measures) both pre and post treatment will be used. The goal is to Devise an individualized program to address the specific needs of each client.
Treatment protocols include a combination of (behavioral skills training, relaxation techniques, mental skills techniques, cognitive-behavioral therapy, biofeedback). The goal is to generalize these strategies to improve performance by applying these strategies to real world settings.
Contact us today for an appointment, if you want to improve your performance in work, school, health, business, sports, or entertainment. We have locations in Illinois and Indiana.
Taken from, Whistling Vivaldi, (Steele, PhD, Claude, 2010, W.W. Norton & Co, Inc.)

INTRODUCTION
Morgan sat on my couch, three months before she was supposed to get married. Instead of being happy and excited she appeared more annoyed with her situation. She was in conflict because she was not sure if she should go through with it. She was 28, attractive and worked as a pharmaceutical representative. She was engaged to a great guy, by most peoples’ standards. She did not exhibit any emotion, but just presented the facts as she understood them. She apparently had thought about this for some time, but still could not resolve her feelings about the whole thing. The wedding plans were set. Guests had already purchased airplane tickets to attend, and her parents had spent thousands of dollars to make her day like a fairy tale. Her mother’s position was, “Get over it, your father isn’t perfect either. You need to hurry up and make a decision, or I am going to stop continuing the wedding plans.” Despite all of this, Morgan just could not pretend that she was happy, when she was not. She had discussed her concerns with two girlfriends who gave her opposing views, which only confused her more. Her married friend said that she was just having cold feet, stating that there are always things you are not going to like about your mate. While her friend, who was recently divorced, said, “’Be true to yourself. If you don’t feel a connection with him now, what is the likelihood that you will feel it later.”
According to Morgan, her fiance`, Dave, was the most eligible bachelor in their social circle. He was kind to her and loved her unconditionally. Her parents loved him, her girlfriends were envious, and on paper he looked perfect. He was attractive, intelligent, and a successful banker. She could not understand why she could not make a decision. He had all the things that she thought she should look for in a man, except that she did not feel connected to him. He did not make her laugh, they rarely talked, and he wasn’t passionate about anything. Her doubts had been surfacing for some time and after four years of dating, she found herself in bed with his best friend, shortly after they got engaged the year before. She had always been attracted to his friend because he was more laid back and fun to be with. She even thought that she had more in common with her own best male friend than her fiancé. They were able to talk for hours and she felt like, “he got me.” Morgan was not sure she could live a lifetime with a man who did not “get her.” But, on the other hand she was also afraid that if she broke it off, she may never get married and have children. Both scenarios were frightening to her.
Dating is like a horserace, there are Fillies—who are young, optimistic (i.e., glass half full), and energetic single females, with all the promise of winning the dating race to having a loving relationship; Long Shots, who still have a chance for marriage but the odds are slowly moving out of their favor because they are conflicted. They are vacillating between optimism and pessimism, because they are either older, too picky or have begun to settle into a negative mindset about men; and Nags, who are pessimistic (i.e., glass half empty), have resorted to a life of bitterness and resentment and may even be living with regrets about missed marrying opportunities. Morgan is a Filly, for now. She is in her twenties, the prime marrying and childbearing years, is engaged, and well on her way to realizing her dream of having a husband and family. However, she is afraid that this man may not be the total package—her Prince Charming. But, on the other hand if she does not marry him, she could easily turn into a Long Shot—in her thirties, unmarried, no children, with a growing pessimism about ever getting married and having a family. And worse yet she could succumb to being a Nag—growing older, with regrets about the one who got away and never finding anyone else who might meet her requirements.
Many women struggle with this dilemma of whether or not they should go with the imperfect guy, who does not exactly meet their expectations, or take the risk of not ever finding anyone who does. They do not want to end up spending years looking for that guy who has just the right package, only to find that he does not exist. But in many cases, that is exactly what happens. To Morgan’s credit, she is trying to figure this out before she gets married, even though the wedding is only a few months away. Some women never get to the point of engagement due to the fact they have rejected these imperfect men outright, because they did not meet her expectations. Most women have men in their lives, who are interested in them, they just don’t won’t those men or don’t even give them the chance to see if there is a possibility. Are you struggling with finding the perfect man and getting frustrated that there just aren’t any good men out there? It’s not that there are no good men to date, it is sometimes the filter you are using to determine what a good man is. Maybe this time you are the problem, not them.
If you are not already a Filly and want to become one, at least in spirit and mindset, if not by youth, this book is for you. People want committed relationships at all ages and although a woman in her forties or older may not be looking to have children, her chances of finding a mate will still be affected by her mindset. If she has a Nag mindset, her odds of winning the race will be significantly diminished. This book will help you to develop the characteristics of a Filly, agility, speed, and spirit at any age:
* the AGILITY to understand what drives your behavior, while learning to make the necessary thinking and behaving adjustments.
*the SPEED to develop efficient use of your time and energy
* the SPIRIT to get motivated to take action by instilling optimism and mental clarity

Time and time again female patients and friends of mine are asking the same question, “Why am I not married, or at least in a serious relationship.” Women are eagerly looking for answers to the plight of their single status. Women of different races, ethnicities, socioeconomic status, educational levels, and family backgrounds are all struggling with the same issue—“Why Me.” The answer is the same—looking in the mirror.
In writing this book, I have attempted to shed some understanding on why there has been a shift in our dating and marriage patterns and to provide a program for women of all ages who are considering finding an intimate relationship. This approach involves working from the inside out rather than the outside in. Many self help books that use the outside in approach focus on dating tips, or how to know when a man likes you. The inside out approach focuses on self-reflection and how your own internal issues may be interfering with finding and keeping a mate. This book will help you to know when you are the problem and what to do next.

Coordinator of Student Services

To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this letter to introduce myself to you and to inform you of the benefits of psychological strategies used in an educational setting. I have been a licensed psychologist for almost 20 years and have found that these techniques are very helpful to students who want to perform at an optimal level. As you are probably aware, many college students suffer from mental disorders ranging from depression, anxiety, and personality disorders, which can in turn affect their ability to perform on tests. Making the transition from high school to college can be very intimidating, especially if the student does not have the necessary resources to cope with this major life event. Many students fail to matriculate through college in a timely fashion because of poor study habits, writing skills, and test taking abilities. Test anxiety can paralyze and otherwise competent student and prevent him or her from performing adequately. Furthermore, women suffer more from all types of anxiety than men.
Some colleges and universities provide services to assist the student in making this adjustment. I think my services will help to augment what you may already offer.
*test anxiety treatment
*career counseling
*psychotherapy
My specialty is combining proven psychological principles with technology, to affect physical, behavioral and cognitive functioning. Test anxiety in particular has been shown to be helped by behavioral strategies and physiological feedback retraining Heart Rate Variability (HRV) treatment. Em Wave® by Heart Math. You can learn these strategies in just eight to twelve weeks.

Are you having difficulty finding a mate? Do you seem to be doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result? Why not try a new approach. This is an eight week support group that focuses on psychological and behavioral factors that may be hindering your ability to find a suitable mate. This approach uses proven psychological strategies to help you to break down those barriers that keep getting in your way. The support group is led by a licensed psychologist and author of Long Shot: beating the odds to love and happiness (a self-help guide for single women looking for love) with over thirty years of experience in treating relationship issues. Working from the inside out by treating underlying emotional and behavioral issues, rather than from the outside in, dating randomly in hopes that you will find that needle in a haystack, will increase your chances of finding a healthy relationship. Start today.

contact Dr Stephanie–the Date Jockey: drstephanie@nappypsych.com; instagram and twitter: @longshotsara

Have you had episodes of rapid heart beat, dizziness, or sweating, accompanied by an overwhelming fear that you were going to lose control. If you had these symptoms and went to your doctor, who said that all your medical tests were negative, and that it may just be anxiety, you may have been having a panic attack. Panic atttacks are just one of the many types of anxiety disorders. Although the etiology of panic disorder is not completely understood, psychological factors clearly play a role in the triggering and maintenance of the disorder. If gone untreated, this type of anxiety disorder could lead to agoraphobia, avoiding situations that trigger the panic attack. Consequently, it may be more and more difficult to live life (eg, driving a car, going to the grocery store, being in crowds), due to this paralyzing fear. This eight week support group will help you to identify psychological factors that may be underling your anxiey, make behaviroal changes, and assess your progress. The support group is led by a licensed psychologist, with years of experience in treating anxiety disorders. Come and learn these proven strategies to overcome your anxiety.

Have you been frustrated with trying to lose weight and keeping it off? Have you tried various fad diets, diet pills, weight loss programs, and exercise, but are still falling short of your weight goals? Maybe you need to take a closer look at the psychological aspects of weight loss. Usually, by the time a person is significantly overweight, they are eating for reasons other than hunger. Depression, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, and stress are just a few of the triggers for overeating. This eight week program will help you to identify underlying psychological and behavioral issues that may be hindering your progress, set goals, and evaluate your results. The group format, led by a licensed psychologist with years of experience in weight control, will provide a supportive environment to help you to overcome emotional blocks that may be preventing you from achieving your weight goals. Join today!

GET YOUR HEAD TOGETHER
Psychological approaches to male sexual dysfunction
Every night we are bombarded with commercials pushing drugs that claim to improve a man’s sex life. We see a middle aged couple sharing a moment together in a bathtub, on the beach, with running water everywhere. The good looking aging baby boomer, who has taken one of these sexual enhancing drugs, is comforted by the notion that when the moment arises, will be ready to perform in the bedroom. He is guaranteed an erection to meet his partners’ needs. But let us not forget the disclaimers (eg, you may have an erection for several hours, numerous side effects, contraindications). These commercials play on the fears of men who are growing older and fear not being able to have a satisfying sex life.
Are you taking one of these sexual enhancing drugs, used to address erectile failure, or are you considering taking one of these drugs? Before you make this decision, first discuss with your physician non-medication approaches to this problem. Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is defined as the inability of the penis to maintain and full and firm erection sufficient for penetration during intercourse. ED can include premature ejaculation and erectile failure. ED can be caused by a number of different things such as: the side effects of certain medications (eg, anti-hypertensives, narcotics), disease (high blood pressure, diabetes), depression or anxiety. Your doctor will help you to rule out any medical reasons for having this problem. If your doctor says that there do not appear to be any physical ailments that seem to be causing the problem, then you might consider psychological explanations. In fact sometimes ED can begin as the result of a medical issue, such as side effects from medication, but later be maintained because of psychological reasons, even after the medication has been stopped. For example, I once treated a 45 year old male in the Hypertension Clinic at The University of Chicago Hospitals for sexual dysfunction. He complained that the high blood pressure medication that he had been given was causing him to lose his erection. He had become very anxious about having sex, for fear that he would not be able to maintain an erection sufficient for intercourse with his wife. His wife was supportive and encouraged him to see his family doctor, but for many months he refused because he was too embarrassed. Finally, she made the phone call and he had a check up and told his doctor about the problem he was having with the medication. His doctor, changed his medication to a drug that had fewer sexual dysfunction side effects and sent him on his way. Unfortunately, this change in medication did not solve the problem, because by this time his performance anxiety was so high that he was afraid to try sex for fear of failure. The medication issue had resolved, but now it was the anticipatory anxiety that triggered the problem. At this point he agreed to try psychotherapy to address this problem.
He and his wife were evaluated, and it quickly became apparent that anxiety was playing the predominant role in his ED. After several sessions of treatment using cognitive-behavioral therapy, relaxation training, and biofeedback he was able to manage his anxiety and was able to perform sexually without difficulty. Those ED problems that are organic in nature (eg, prostate cancer, uncontrolled diabetes) will not likely be resolved with these psychological approaches alone. However, there are many options available to those with disease that has affected sexual functioning, including penile implants and sexual enhancing drugs, such as those previously mentioned. If you have discussed your problem with your doctor and he/she has recommended these approaches, then proceed. Otherwise, psychotherapy and marital therapy can be helpful in treating the patient and/or couple cope with diminished sexual functioning. There are also good self-help books that can step you through dealing with this problem.
With the prevalence of sexual enhancing drugs, that we see on television commercials almost every night, many men are falling into the belief that there sexual functioning should be enhanced even if they are not middle age or older. Some men in their thirties, who are healthy and have no disease processes are taking these drugs because they feel they need a boost. Chances are their issues could be resolved with psychotherapy. Oftentimes, these are men who have issues of self-confidence or they merely want to increase their sexual desire and performance, even if it is at a normal level. Those who seek out these drugs need to be aware that all drugs have side effects and the risks of taking such drugs should be discussed with your doctor. But more importantly, if there is another way to achieve sexual satisfaction without medication, why not give it a try. In the absence of disease, sexual desire and orgasm is 99.999999% psychological. Focus on getting your head together. That is, the one on your shoulders.
GET YOUR HEAD TOGETHER
Psychological approaches to male sexual dysfunction
Every night we are bombarded with commercials pushing drugs that claim to improve a man’s sex life. We see a middle aged couple sharing a moment together in a bathtub, on the beach, with running water everywhere. The good looking aging baby boomer, who has taken one of these sexual enhancing drugs, is comforted by the notion that when the moment arises, will be ready to perform in the bedroom. He is guaranteed an erection to meet his partners’ needs. But let us not forget the disclaimers (eg, you may have an erection for several hours, numerous side effects, contraindications). These commercials play on the fears of men who are growing older and fear not being able to have a satisfying sex life.
Are you taking one of these sexual enhancing drugs, used to address erectile failure, or are you considering taking one of these drugs? Before you make this decision, first discuss with your physician non-medication approaches to this problem. Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is defined as the inability of the penis to maintain and full and firm erection sufficient for penetration during intercourse. ED can include premature ejaculation and erectile failure. ED can be caused by a number of different things such as: the side effects of certain medications (eg, anti-hypertensives, narcotics), disease (high blood pressure, diabetes), depression or anxiety. Your doctor will help you to rule out any medical reasons for having this problem. If your doctor says that there do not appear to be any physical ailments that seem to be causing the problem, then you might consider psychological explanations. In fact sometimes ED can begin as the result of a medical issue, such as side effects from medication, but later be maintained because of psychological reasons, even after the medication has been stopped. For example, I once treated a 45 year old male in the Hypertension Clinic at The University of Chicago Hospitals for sexual dysfunction. He complained that the high blood pressure medication that he had been given was causing him to lose his erection. He had become very anxious about having sex, for fear that he would not be able to maintain an erection sufficient for intercourse with his wife. His wife was supportive and encouraged him to see his family doctor, but for many months he refused because he was too embarrassed. Finally, she made the phone call and he had a check up and told his doctor about the problem he was having with the medication. His doctor, changed his medication to a drug that had fewer sexual dysfunction side effects and sent him on his way. Unfortunately, this change in medication did not solve the problem, because by this time his performance anxiety was so high that he was afraid to try sex for fear of failure. The medication issue had resolved, but now it was the anticipatory anxiety that triggered the problem. At this point he agreed to try psychotherapy to address this problem.
He and his wife were evaluated, and it quickly became apparent that anxiety was playing the predominant role in his ED. After several sessions of treatment using cognitive-behavioral therapy, relaxation training, and biofeedback he was able to manage his anxiety and was able to perform sexually without difficulty. Those ED problems that are organic in nature (eg, prostate cancer, uncontrolled diabetes) will not likely be resolved with these psychological approaches alone. However, there are many options available to those with disease that has affected sexual functioning, including penile implants and sexual enhancing drugs, such as those previously mentioned. If you have discussed your problem with your doctor and he/she has recommended these approaches, then proceed. Otherwise, psychotherapy and marital therapy can be helpful in treating the patient and/or couple cope with diminished sexual functioning. There are also good self-help books that can step you through dealing with this problem.
With the prevalence of sexual enhancing drugs, that we see on television commercials almost every night, many men are falling into the belief that there sexual functioning should be enhanced even if they are not middle age or older. Some men in their thirties, who are healthy and have no disease processes are taking these drugs because they feel they need a boost. Chances are their issues could be resolved with psychotherapy. Oftentimes, these are men who have issues of self-confidence or they merely want to increase their sexual desire and performance, even if it is at a normal level. Those who seek out these drugs need to be aware that all drugs have side effects and the risks of taking such drugs should be discussed with your doctor. But more importantly, if there is another way to achieve sexual satisfaction without medication, why not give it a try. In the absence of disease, sexual desire and orgasm is 99.999999% psychological. Focus on getting your head together. That is, the one on your shoulders.